


Brace yourself

by LeighJ



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/M, Fertility Issues, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Pain, Summer of Bethyl, Summer of Bethyl 2018, Swearing, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 04:51:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15478068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeighJ/pseuds/LeighJ
Summary: "Beth braces her hand against the counter and breathes. Her calm is instantly disturbed by the rap of Daryl’s knuckles against the wood.She squeezes her eyes as he mumbles, “we should talk.”“Talk?” She laughs and when it comes out her mouth it’s all twisted and cold. “Talk about the fact that I can’t ever give you kids? That what you wanna talk ‘bout?”"





	Brace yourself

**Author's Note:**

> For "talk" summer of Bethyl week.
> 
> Thank you wallflow3r for being an amazing beta as always.
> 
> Rated M for swearing only.

Beth braces her hand against the counter in the bathroom and breathes. Her calm is instantly disturbed by the rap of Daryl’s knuckles against the wood on the other side where she locked him out.

She squeezes her eyes as he mumbles, “we should talk.”

“Talk?” She laughs and when it comes out her mouth it’s all twisted and cold. “Talk about the fact that I can’t ever give you kids? That what you wanna talk ‘bout?”

“Beth,” Daryl sighs brokenly. “M'old. Hell, ‘fore you I never thought I’d ‘ave ‘em anyway.”

Her eyes fly open and she gets one look at herself before she flies to the door. One look at big, wet lashes and watery blue eyes. One look at her firm mouth and the stress lines gripping around her eyes. One look at the heartbreak she feels so deep in her soul she wants to scream with it. 

When she tears the door handle back, it nearly comes clean off the hinges, the lock screaming metal and busting, flying off the walls and the light bulb. Glass shatters and sprinkles over her head, a beautiful victory for the chaos churning inside her.

 _“I wanted them!_ ” She screams with all the sorrow dragging on her bones. “I wanted them!” She repeats even louder, even more broken.

She’s stone cold inside, her heart just as heavy and hard. Daryl doesn’t say anything, his eyes watering even in the low light and that _kills_ her because Daryl doesn’t cry, he never _cries_ but she’s so beyond sanity she can’t just come back.

She has to fall first. 

" _I_ wanted to carry them. _I_ wanted to birth them. _I_ wanted to feed them milk _I_ made. _I_ wanted to tell them that they’d never be alone.” She gasps raggedly, her mouth opening and trembling, breaking up her words. “I wanted to tell them I’d... that I'd _never_ ,” the word comes out twisted and vicious, her mouth scrunching to make room for its violence. “Never let them down.”

“ _Beth_ ,” he whispers softly, cupping the back of her skull.

She crumbles into his arms with a sob, her stomach heaving with this knowledge that she will have to carry with her forever. She can’t have children. She can’t have Daryl’s babies. 

Cradled against his chest, she murmurs against his shirt, voice thick with tears, “I wanted to give them to you. Little precious babies that were all yours. All mine. These little beauties that were all us. I wanted that Daryl, I wanted it to so bad.”

Beth closes her eyes on a sob as he crushes her head to his chest where his heart booms in her ear. “M'sorry. M'so sorry,” he breathes.

She shakes in his arms for an age until her eyes run dry and Daryl’s hand rubbing her back soothes her breathing. Softly, he mumbles, “docs said you need to rest.”

As if prodded by his words, her ribs twinge in pain. She winces. Just thinking about the crash makes her bones ache. Her stomach, hollow where they took her womb. Hollow where she will never create beautiful children.

“Okay,” he encourages. “S'get you back in bed. Gonna clean this up.” He gestures to the glass as he leads her down the hall.

She staggers against him, hugging his waist as another sob presses down on her sore ribs. “Daryl?”

“Mmm?”

"Do you still love me? Damaged like this?”

“ _Beth_!” Her name whistles through his teeth in outrage as he stops dead and takes her arms, gentle but firm. “I love you. You ain’t damaged, not ever. Y'hear me?” 

Her chin wobbles as she nods, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I love you too. Just..." She fumbles for the words, trying to articulate herself. "Just brace yourself, ‘cause this hurts Daryl and I know I’m gonna do things an’ say things... things I don’t mean. So just brace yourself and don’t leave. Please don’t leave.”

He looks down on her with eyes already tired from the future fights, mouth already tight by spiteful words that are due to come but despite all this he takes her face in his hands and kisses her. 

When they pull away, he whispers, “I promise.”


End file.
